I Don’t Want to Wait for a Wake-Up Call

A few weeks ago, I went to the movies with friends to watch The Salt Path (great movie!). It’s based on a true story – first shared in a book – about a wife and husband who walk the South West Coast Path in England after a devastating health diagnosis and facing financial ruin. With nothing to lose, the two of them start walking – mainly because they don’t know what else to do. They set off with nothing but the bare necessities. Along the way, they experience harsh weather, exhaustion and hunger. But they keep going.

Spoiler alert: The experience ends up being transformative and, while not without challenges, ultimately positive – to the point where the pair agree that it was worth losing the house for. It’s a beautiful, inspiring movie.

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A couple of weeks ago, I was waiting at the Osteopath for my appointment. Since I now make a conscious effort not to scroll on my phone during those micro-breaks in my day, I found myself flicking through a magazine. The cover promised a piece about living a free-spirited life, which grabbed my attention. The article included the story of a woman who gave up her ‘normal’ life after a cancer diagnosis to live a more free-spirited life (i.e., one less focused on money and status and more focused on well-being and free time). She found happiness and, in a way, was grateful for the diagnosis that had woken her up.

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One of my favourite books so far this year is The Half Bird, a memoir by Susan Smillie in which she shares her story of sailing from England to Greece. What inspired and compelled her to do so? A health scare combined with the end of a long-term relationship and a sense of heading towards burnout professionally.

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For anyone who loves hearing, reading and seeing stories from and about people who left the so-called normal life to explore alternative paths – often ones involving freedom, adventure and self-discovery – these examples will likely sound familiar.

Often, there is a big life-changing event that starts a journey that ultimately transforms people’s lives.

In most cases, it’s a tragic event – a wake-up call. A devastating health diagnosis, the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, being made redundant from what felt like a secure job, financial difficulties… The list goes on.

Interestingly, these tragic events – that we wouldn’t wish on anyone – often turn into blessings in some shape or form. They seem to give the impacted people the reason, the drive and the permission to live the life they really want for themselves, and usually result in them finding happiness and contentment – most often in unexpected ways.

I love stories like that. They are inspiring, thought-provoking and affirming. I feel a deep sense of sympathy for the people, as well as admiration and respect for how they overcome challenges, follow their hearts and rebuild their lives.

But at the same time, these stories also provoke another feeling. Often, when I read or hear stories like that, there is a loud voice in my head screaming:

“I don’t want to wait for the wake-up call!”

I don’t want to wait for a tragic event to truly live my best life.

I think it’s great that these people have managed to turn a tragedy into something positive. That they used it as an opportunity to create a better life for themselves instead of giving in to the despair and grief. It must take incredible strength to do so, and I admire that massively.

But at the same time, I can’t help but wonder why, for so many, it takes a tragic event to wake up and gain the inspiration and permission to create a better life – a life that doesn’t centre around materialist wealth and status.

Why are we – as a society – so stuck on the idea that wealth and status will bring us happiness that we need to face death or ruin before we wake up and change our lives into something that actually makes us happy?

Why is it that even for someone like me who is aware of all of that and has technically left ‘normal’ many years ago, it still is so easy to get caught up in this idea of needing to get ahead, needing to build wealth, needing to make sacrifices in the present for the potential of a better future – a future that might never come?

Life is short. And we only get this one life. It’s fragile and can be over any second. Theoretically, we all know that. And yet, we often live as if we don’t.

We often live as though the future is not only guaranteed but also much more valuable and important than the present. We sacrifice happiness in the here and now for the promise of a better future.

But what if there is no future?

And even if there is a future, is the potential of happiness at 70 or 80 really worth sacrificing happiness in our 30s and 40s?

I’ve been thinking a lot about all that lately.

Ultimately, for me, the answer was easy. No! It’s not worth it.

I’m comfortable in Christchurch. Ever since I settled here 18 months ago, I’ve created a home for myself and built an amazing community. Life is good! But I also know if I continue on this path for another 10 or 20 years and then one day get that tragic event wake-up call, I will have regrets. I would regret playing it safe. I would regret not following the call of adventure. I would regret not letting myself have the experiences and freedom that my soul craves so much.

I don’t want to wait for the wake-up call!

This desire of wanting to make the most of life NOW (not after some tragic event wakes me up) is why I’m now proactively working towards my next adventure: Life on a sailing boat!

If that’s news to you, check out my last blog post here.

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